The five love languages are the word of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, an act of service, and physical touch (Surijah, & Kirana, 2020). To learn about the love languages, I interviewed my friend Olivia to comprehend her love language and personal experience.
Word of affirmation is the most appealing love language for me.
As a love language that revolves around verbal expression, I love the communication that illustrates positive words and phrases to show love, appreciation, and respect.
Physical touch is the most challenging love language for me to receive. As the most direct way of love expression, one needs the courage to make it right. In some instances, physical touch feels extreme if received from a person I do not love. For instance, we almost ended a friendship with my friend when he became touchy.
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I think a change by being more conversational when receiving affectionate messages in close relationships would be beneficial. By responding with gratitude, I will encourage my partner and other close associates to continue offering words of affirmation.
Olivia was open-minded, cheerful, and keen on details. As a person who loves the word affirmation as her love language, she was attentive and was keen on observing whether I was paying attention to her interview answers. While she was the interviewee, she was inquisitive about how I was doing in the past two weeks that we had not met. She was excited when I complimented her, fulfilled when I appreciated her for allowing be interviewed, and struggled with criticizing those in close relationships who were reluctant to illustrate their love language. While her concern was well-intentioned, I would have preferred that she play the role of the interviewee rather than being inquisitive.
We differ in love language. While Olivia prefers words of affirmation, I tend to enjoy quality time. I love to spend undivided attention with those I am in close relationships with. Rather than receiving gifts, words of affirmation, touch, or acts of service, I prefer to spend meaningful time together. On the other hand, Olivia would prefer to receive compliments, appreciation, encouragement, and respect than the other love languages. While we differ in love language, there was no notable challenge in planning the special event.
Each person has a love language that must be met for the person to feel loved. I deliberately brainstormed on various love languages and how Olivia might want to receive them. The questions are designed to be open-ended but without the requirement to discuss sensitive information (Surijah & Kirana, 2020). Given Olivia is my friend, the question were semi-structured to encourage a conversation rather than a straightforward answer format.
Since I had thoroughly examined the interview questions, the execution was enjoyable. As a friend, I had learned various aspects of Olivia and designed the question to favor an enjoyable but valuable conversation. The event was successful since we had an actual conversation and discussed all the required elements. We got to understand each other better, things we like, how we like them, which we had not previously discussed. Nonetheless, the conversation deviated in several instances to non-objective issues extending the event period to approximately 45 minutes.
Everyone has a love language. Partners or people in a close relationship must undertake an effort to comprehend each other love language and meet them (Surijah & Kirana, 2020). Open communication and being specific about one’s love language and gratitude improve how one receives their preferred love language.
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Understanding my love language and my specific language will allow me to meet my loved ones’ needs and express better how I want to receive mine. One is less likely to miscommunicate love issues with adequate comprehension of those in close association. The interchange will help grow relationships with deep understanding, increase connectedness, and prevent insignificant conflicts (Surijah & Kirana, 2020). Through the project, I aim to understand those I am in close association with better, how to express my love in a way that resonates with them and fulfills their needs, and express myself better.
Surijah, E. A., & Kirana, C. T. (2020). Five Love Languages scale factor analysis. Makara Human Behavior Studies in Asia, 24(1), 56-72.