Communication in Successful Relationships

Regardless of the type of friendship people have, each person has expectations concerning the relationship (Adler, Rosenfeld & Proctor, 2018). In this journal, I will reflect on our friendship with Emma and Steve concerning expectation in the way we communicate.

Cost-Benefit Chart

Joy and SorrowAdequate emotional support, love, sacrificesLove, time, convenience, and honesty
Laugh and MemoriesMemories, emotional support, relieve stress.Intimacy and time
ListeningKnowledge, affection, a better understandingTime, personal convenience, comfort, trust, patience
ConfidenceTrust, affection, assuranceTrust, personal comfort, resources, and disclosure.
Helping handAssurance, affection, time, and convenience.Comfort, resources, and time
Stand up for each otherConfidence, assurance, comfort, honor, reputation.Resources, time, comfort.
Pledges and commitmentsConvenience, help, affection, resources.  Time, personal comfort, convenience, resources, trust
RespectHonor, trust, affection, confidence.Pride, personal comfort
Balanced ExchangeRewardsReplication of rewards
Connection and autonomyAffection, mutual understanding, privacyUnderstanding, analysis of choices, constructive argument
Apologies and forgivenessTrust, understanding, affection, comfortPride, time, personal comfort


Emma is very emotionally expressive than Steve. We can laugh and cry all night with Emma, but Steve avoids emotional situations. In both friendships, we value memories, and we are good listeners. That makes our together moments fun, especially with Steve, who is an excellent narrator. Both Emma and Steve are trusted confidants, we have planned to do things in past, and in both friendships, we honored our commitments and stood up for one another. Concerning help, Steve is always nearby to help due to proximity, but even with Emma, we have each other’s back. Both friendships are balanced. I do not feel overwhelmed, and I hope it is the same to both Emma and Steve. Overall, we respect one another, for instance, when in need of privacy, it is given and if expectations are not met, we apologize.


I am okay with both friendships, and I value the quality of the relationship we have with one another. The analysis does not change anything since the benefits and the costs I incurred in both friendships cancel out. In the areas that I feel my efforts are not reciprocated, like Steve not being emotionally expressive, or Emma not availing fast enough, I intent to deliberately talk with them, so that we have come into a mutual understanding. This will entail an explanation of my expectations and rationale and discussion of options available in both situations.


Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L., & Proctor, R. (2018). Interplay (14th ed.). New York: Oxford University Press.